This place is void of all passion (aryntay) wrote,
This place is void of all passion
aryntay

Here I am...on the verge of tears AGAIN

I miss my sister so incredibly much it's not even funny....I don't just miss Seeing her all the time and all that....I miss the way things used to be....and I know things are NEVER going to be that way again...I mean they had already changed BEFORE I even moved out...then I moved out and did even MORE damage. It really upsets me that things can't be that way again....

for some reason Justin and I had a really crummy weekend...like arguing ALL the time...and I don't get it...He says I've been different lately and he wishes I could just be like I've always been...I dunno maybe I have been...maybe I turned into a huge bitch or something...honestly I have no clue....I've cried about 10 hundred Million times this weekend...I Love him with all my heart and I'm sorry I've changed GAH....maybe I'm just in one of my moody irritable bitchy stages or something....I dunno I'm trying my damndest to get over it...cus saturday actually made me scared for us....we both said things that we really didn't mean....I told him things might as well be over and we were both wasting our time...and I don't even see why we're together and all of this....and after I said it I regreted it SOOOOO BAD.....I don't know why I say things that I KNOW are just going to make everything worse....but I do...I'm an idiot....I wish someone would kick me in the face.PLEASE DO if you feel inclined....I dunno...I'm young...I'm NINETEEN....I'm still growing up....things will change...I won't ALWAYS be the way I am now...or the way I used to be or ANY OF THAT....I dunno...I love him with all of my heart..and I thought that was enough but maybe I was wrong...I don't know what I'll ever do if I lose him tho

This weekend we're going to Fort McKavett and I'm going to shoot a deer and Justin thinks I'm going to cry....who knows...knowing me I will..I cry over EVERY FUCKING THING.....But I'm excited this should be fun...Justins dad said that if Patty and Jessie's boys are home we can probably go spotlighting and stuff....I'm ready for a break...

one more week of school...(my finals are next week) it's about damn time..I'm sooooo TIred of school I might scream

wow this isn't much of an update...oh well...like it....or don't...I don't give a fuck
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